YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
