Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
