did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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