Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
