Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
