Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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