Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
