i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
