Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
