I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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