I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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