She went from zero to smokin in five shots
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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