from now on my penis is your penis
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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