ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
