I just made out with a guy for $7.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
