It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
