WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
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