Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
