BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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