i think my tv is drunk
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
