I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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