Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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