Can i not drive my cunt home
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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