I bet he comes in French.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize