i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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