Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
