No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
