Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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