rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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