Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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