HIV tests are more positive than that guy
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
