I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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