is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
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She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
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How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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