Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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