Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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