He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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