Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
