Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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