dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
