16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
