WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
