No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
