I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
