sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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