Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
