You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
