would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
