At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
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