she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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