you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
