my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
