I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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