Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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