she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
