I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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