I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
