oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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