So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
