margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
