Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
