i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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