Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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